


home

by rudderless in an ocean of stars (indelibly_ellie)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex-centric, Angst, Cuddles, F/F, Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Sanvers - Freeform, Tears, enjoy, the unholy trifecta of pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9198524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indelibly_ellie/pseuds/rudderless%20in%20an%20ocean%20of%20stars
Summary: Shit hits the fan at work, and Alex finds herself struggling to cope in the aftermath of a mission that goes sideways.Maggie is there to help her get through it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Alex-centric Sanvers oneshot based on an ask from @andhetoldmeiwasholy on Tumblr.
> 
> "Alex has a particularly rough day and after being quiet all night her and Maggie go to bed where she cries when Maggie spoons her but Maggie keeps cuddling her."

J'onn’s face slowly swims into view, brow furrowed, concern plastered across his features. Her ears are still ringing, and everything sounds so very far away, so she squints at his mouth and tries her best to read his lips. “-should get cleaned up.”

 

Alex opens her mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. For the first time since her early days at the DEO, she’s floundering.

 

Training, instinct, everything- _gone_.

 

Mutely, she nods, pulling in a raspy breath through bloodstained lips as she begins to turn away on shaky legs, hoping muscle memory will guide her in ways her half-functioning mind cannot.

 

Someone takes her elbow, and she jerks backwards at the contact, hands flying towards her sidearm only to find the holster empty. _You dropped it earlier_ , a helpful voice in her head supplies, and Alex flinches at the memory.

 

“Whoa there, Alex, it’s just me.”

 

It still sounds like they are standing dozens of miles away, but the voice is clear and the voice is _familiar_.

 

Her lungs relinquish the breath she didn’t even realize she was holding. Vasquez. 

 

Dimly, she realizes that her fellow agent has never called her by her first name before. The other woman reaches out again, slowly, fingers hovering just over Alex’s arm. “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

 

Numbly, Alex finds herself nodding, and lets Vasquez take her by the arm and lead her through the halls.

 

* * *

 

Everything is red.

 

Alex stumbles back until she hits the wall of the shower, sliding down its water-slick surface until she’s on the floor, eyes glued to the bloody water that circles the drain.

 

It’s a sight she’s gotten used to, working for the DEO. She’s no stranger to the sight of blood.

 

What bothers her is the simple fact that it is not her _own_.

 

She shuts her eyes and forces herself to her feet, fumbling for the knob and turning it as far as she can. The water turns scalding. She embraces the heat, lets it burn away the last chills that chase the length of her spine.

 

* * *

 

Maggie is waiting for her when she finally manages to stumble out of the locker room. 

 

Something that looks suspiciously like concern flashes across her features, but it’s gone before Alex can even blink.

 

Her gaze slides to Vasquez, never one to bother hiding the truth. “I didn’t think you were in any condition to drive yourself back.”

 

Alex looks down at herself, mentally takes inventory of the various aches and pains that her battered body throbs with- _minor_ , she notes- and resists the urge to make a snappish retort. Vasquez is right. She isn’t fine. (Not that she’ll ever admit it.)

 

“Thanks.” Her voice is hoarse, but at least she can finally bring herself to speak without fear of loosing the scream that has been building since the warehouse. She turns back to Maggie, who flashes a hesitant smile in her direction. “Ready to go?”

 

Maggie shrugs, tossing her hair with practiced nonchalance. “No reason to stay.”

 

Silently, Alex agrees.

 

* * *

 

Alex holds out until sometime after midnight.

 

Tears prick at the corners of her eyes as she stares up at the ceiling, struggling to keep her breathing even so as to not disturb Maggie, who had slung an arm around her waist not an hour after she’d fallen asleep, judging by time her breaths had slowed to the shallow, steady tempo of slumber. 

 

Her throat clenches, and she digs her nails into her thighs as she fights to keep herself from _breaking_.

 

It doesn’t work for long. 

 

A strangled noise escapes her throat as her lungs begin to ache with the effort of suppressing her sobs. 

 

Beside her, Maggie stirs, voice thick as she shakes off the last remnants of sleep. “Alex?”

 

She bites down on her lip, hard, and the taste of iron floods her mouth. She ~~_can’t_~~  doesn’t respond.

 

_Please go back to sleep. Please go back to sleep. Please go-_

 

“Alex?” Maggie fully awake now, eyes bright and alert as she sits up, looking down at Alex with undisguised worry furrowing her brow.

 

It’s the way she says her name- how can anyone inject so _much_ into two syllables?- that shatters the last bits of Alex’s faltering control.

 

Alex moves to sit upright, pulling her knees up to her chest as her hands curl into fists. “She was just a little girl.” Anger radiates from every particle of her being, and the tears that slip down her cheeks are cold in comparison to the heat of her skin.

 

“I know.” Maggie reaches out, cupping her face with cool hands, gaze steady and unwavering even as Alex feels herself begin to fall apart, shoulders shaking, lungs begin to spasm with the force of her sobs.

 

Maggie inches closer, pulling Alex against her as she leans them both back against the pillows, hands moving to rub steady circles into the small of her back. She resists, tries her best to pull away because this is weak- she is _weak_ and she shouldn’t be- but Maggie holds her firm.

 

“I _know_ ,” she echoes, and her voice is weighed down by something dark, something painful, something Alex _understands_ , so she stops and allows herself to relax into Maggie’s embrace.

 

They fall asleep like that, Alex wrapped in Maggie’s sturdy warmth, Maggie refusing to let go even after Alex’s tears subside.

 

Alex sleeps better than she has for a long time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a review, donate a cuddle to a touch-starved Alex Danvers. 
> 
> :D


End file.
